Life is all about chemistry. At the age of nine, I was struck with the epiphany that life is chemistry. It was the summer, and I am watching an obviously mentally handicapped boy playing in the schoolyard by himself. I asked myself, "What is the difference between me and that boy that makes us so different?" The following thoughts rushed through my mind:
The Texas A&M shooter who shot and killed 15 people, including an unborn child, and injured 31 because he had a brain tumor.
The urban myth of a babysitter putting a baby in an oven, cooking it, because she was high on LSD. A few micrograms of a chemical changed her capacity to make a moral judgement.
New treatments for schizophrenia were being introduced to counter the chemical imbalance that caused some people to "kill grandma" because voices in their head commanded them to do so.
The Miller–Urey experiment which recreated primordial earth chemistry which precipitated amino acids, the building blocks of proteins, which are, in turn, the building blocks of life.
My father's alcoholism, which turned him from a nice guy into a monster.
I was struck like a lightning bolt with the epiphany that:
All life was a set of self regulating, interdependent, sustained chemical chain reactions. We are born with a chemistry that will determine our physical, mental, emotional, and moral makeup. We have little to no choice in the composition of that chemistry, even after our birth because our comportment towards chemicals (foods, drugs, etc) are given to us by our native chemistry. This ended my believe in the freedom of choice.
It also occurred to me that if the soul is ethereal, made of no physical material, then it should not be affected by the physical, such as brain damage or compounds. This indicated that morality was strictly guided by chemistry, and since one did not have control over the chemistry that one is born with, then one is not responsible for their actions; chemistry is. Thus a deity responsible for giving us our chemistry has no right to judge us. So, at the age of nine, I became an atheist and I have never gone back on that over the more than 5 decades that have past.