Day 9 & 10. No nicotine.
Yesterday I ran out of gum and realized something…
Even when I’m not using nicotine, I’m still thinking about it.
Maybe I’ll think about it for a long time. Idk.
But I guess I’m learning I can have the thought without having to do anything about it.
And I think I figured out what a lot of my triggers actually are.
Transitions.
Comparing to the norms I go though a
Decent amount in a day
Finish deplaning, about to swap airplanes? Ding.
Finish some good ass pizza? Ding.
About to step in the van? Ding.
Walking out to grab food? Ding.
Stepping in the shower? Ding.
Meeting the crew for food, hangout after
work?
Ding ding ding ding ding.
Anything ending. Anything about to start. Anything that feels like a lil reward…
Ding.
This is where the pouch used to go.
Nicotine was basically punctuation between parts of my day 😂
Funny part is I didn’t use nicotine once during those 6 days.
But apparently my brain still knows the schedule.
Then at the airport I started noticing those lil round tins everywhere 😂 even caught a few women with the circle showing through their back pockets.
Rampers, gate agents, idk man
Either nicotine is way more common in aviation than I realized…
or quitting gave me fucking laser eyes 😭
Yall prolly know by now I have a lil thing for time. I’m damn near obsessed with it 😂
After this long stretch of work my whole lil routine got disturbed and mannnn I am OFF.
Six days went by and somehow they already feel like one big blurry memory.
Now I’m home having a hard time getting my brain back into home mode. Home routine. Home shit. Just slowing tf back down.
And it reminded me of something.
Months ago when I was flying hella, I remember thinking it was actually interesting just having a conversation with a cashier 😂
Like damn… I have nowhere I need to be right now. I can just stand here and talk to another human being.
Then I got all this time back and that started feeling normal.
Six days of work later and I can feel myself going the other direction again.
Talking less. Maybe 25% less. Moving through shit. Got home, took a nap and still felt blehhh.
And man I’m just running on tiredness now 😭
Ask me if I could sleep damn near any time of the day and the answer is yes.
Once the coffee wears off it’s game over.
I don’t even like soda, but toward the end of these long ass shifts I’ve literally been taking a lil Coca-Cola, shaking that shit around in my mouth trying to get the fizz going like…
COME ON CAFFEINE, SUGAR, SOMETHING 😭 GIVE ME ONE LAST PUSH.
To be fair these shifts were damn near 13–14 hours, with that big ass weather system cutting through everything and tropical/hurricane shit going on around us. Delays, reroutes, flying around weather… just long ass days.
So at this point idk what’s no nicotine, what’s sleep debt, what’s aviation, what’s the weather beating our ass, or what’s just plain fucking tired 😂
Aviation really does some weird shit to my perception of time.
Anyway…
Day 10. Still no nic.
Brain just trying to figure out what fucking timezone my life is in again 😭
Also ima buy $20 of
$DOG
Idk. Just because. 🐕
Gn yall🫡
Day whatever-the-fuck.
Thought about it.
Didn’t do it.
Gums healing.
Still nicotine-free.
On a day like today, that’s enough solana:dog1viwbb2vWDpER5FrJ4YFG6gq6XuyFohUe9TXN65u
GN😴😴😴