Psychologist, Harvard Medical School. TED Speaker. Author of the #1 WSJ bestseller Emotional Agility. Take my free quiz: bit.ly/3rlr6CP
Boston, Massachusetts
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Are you signed up for the Emotional Agility Newsletter? Each issue contains specific, insightful advice to help you thrive in work and life. Sign up at susandavid.com/newsletter?ut… to receive my next edition.
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When we’re caught up in the chaos of a difficult moment, it can feel like the stress will never end—like this is all there is.
But that’s not the whole story.
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I use this model any time I need to help myself and others understand how trust has been broken, and more importantly, how we can move forward with the crucial process of repair.
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You may not have an easy fix for the things that frustrate you at work, but you DO have the power to choose how you respond to them.
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The next time you're beating yourself up about feeling a certain way, consider this list, and remember that ALL emotions serve a purpose. It's up to us to choose to respond in ways that help us to learn and grow.
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When you let your thoughts dictate your actions, you alter your days according to your fears and insecurities. Let yourself live according to possibility instead.
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Sometimes, regardless of who is right, the best thing to do is to lay down our weapons and make a truce. But when we get hooked on being right, we reignite the argument, moving closer to the conflict and farther away from the possibility of peace. Let go.
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Our thoughts often swing wildly from one idea to the next, leading us down paths that don't truly serve us. It can help to remember that thoughts are just thoughts, not facts. We can acknowledge our thoughts without ever believing them to be true.
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So often, we move through our days on autopilot—doing what we’ve always done, even if it no longer serves us.
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When we embrace the emotional truths of our children, we are creating change—not only for them but for many generations to come.
The next time your child is upset, follow these three steps to give them the gift of emotional agility.
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Rigid: Emotions fall into two categories: good/bad, acceptable/unacceptable.
Agile: All emotions are valid, acceptable aspects of our being. There is no such thing as a "bad" emotion—everything we experience serves a purpose.
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Fear of success, or fear of even being “okay,” can lead to self-sabotage, including underperformance in your career or ruining an otherwise healthy relationship because you haven’t “earned” it.
Let go of narratives that no longer serve you.
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To grow, we need to take on discomfort. This is not discomfort for its own sake. Rather it’s discomfort that is values aligned, and that brings us to the edge of our ability so we are “whelmed” 😂 but not overwhelmed. 😫
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We all get stuck. It's easy to get into a downward spiral when work or life aren't going well.
Maybe you had a frustrating conversation or your team failed to produce a deliverable on time.
Whatever it is that sets you off, you can take these steps to get you back on course.
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Gentle acceptance is an essential part of showing up.
It's about giving the world permission to be as it is, because it’s only when we stop trying to control the universe that we can make peace with it.
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When we lack routine, it can feel like we're navigating uncharted ground all the time. This is exhausting.
Even as circumstances change, try to find pockets of rhythm to ground yourself in your life.
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