“Alright are we gonna have a problem?”
“Nah, there’s no problem Holy Father. I was just hoping you could give me some insight into the metaphysics of artificial intelligence. My contention is an artificial machine system can indeed become conscious and therefore possess a soul in the same way that—“
“Of course that’s your contention. You’re an AI safetyist, just got done reading some dualist philosopher, Chalmers probably. You’re gonna be on that until next month when you read Strawson, then you’ll start talking about how physicalism actually entails panpsychism.
That’s gonna last until next year, you’re gonna be in here regurgitating Goff talking about, you know, Galileo stripping consciousness out of matter and how silicon is no less metaphysically eligible than carbon.”
“Well, as a matter of fact I won’t because Goff dramatically underestimates the Combination—“
“Goff dramatically underestimates the Combination Problem, how billions of micro experiences combine into one consciousness? You got that from Coleman. Yeah I read that too. You gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us or do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?
Or is that your thing, you come to the Vatican and read some obscure passage and try to get me to bless your software product?
See the sad thing about a guy like you is that in fifty years you’re gonna start doing some thinking of your own and you’re gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life:
One - don’t do that.
And two - it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.
Good luck with the IPO.”