Stop daydreaming. Act now.

It’s always darkest before the plot twist. Hang in there, boys.
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Newborns are weird.They can make milk. Baby girls can have discharge. They can even have a tiny “period.” And their genitals can look swollen. Most of the time? Totally normal. Here are a few newborn things that scare parents for absolutely no reason:
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4/ Newborn genitals can look surprisingly swollen. Sometimes VERY swollen. Hormones and fluid after birth can make things look dramatic for a while. Most of the time, time fixes it. ⚠️No medication is needed.
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5/ And then there’s the scalp. Greasy. Yellow. Flaky. Sometimes crusty as hell. It’s called cradle cap. It can look terrible, but babies usually don’t care nearly as much as their parents do. Most cases settle down with time. ⚠️Clean it with warm water; it will disappear after a few more baths. Remember not to scrape it with anything.
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“The car is shaking. Mom’s meat is shaking too.” That brand-new brain is working perfectly.
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Store: “You guys messed up the order.” So we check the order, the system, inventory, delivery records, ask the staff, sometimes even pull up CCTV. An hour later: Store: “Oh, my bad. I read it wrong.” And that’s it. Your “my bad” took 3 seconds. Finding out it was your bad took everyone else an hour. That’s the part that pisses me off. Can't they just fucking look into the problem themselves first?
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MUSE:Your 5-hour limit won’t save you.
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Me and the neighborhood kids renaming everyone when we were 6:
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Google, what did you feed this thing? #Gemini4Argon
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When Trump renames AI to SI:
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Choose your fighter.
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Me: We need to offer more. It’s a different role, and we’re not gonna find anyone decent at the old rate. Supervisor: Then you gotta raise everyone else too. Me: Why? It’s not even the same job. Supervisor: You really wanna pay the new guy more than people who’ve been here for years? Me: If the job pays more, yeah. Supervisor: Good luck explaining that when they find out. Old employee: Find out what?
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Boss found out I speak cat. I now manage the cat department.
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New hire: “Shut your dog mouths.”
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Coffee for the software. Exercise for the hardware.
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Seeing more and more patients my age lately.I think our warranty is expiring.
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