- Tweets 36,202
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metaphor man retweeted
Sydney Sweeney on draftkings commercial [licking lips]: relax… it’s just sports ;)
Father of 4 on vacation in Pigeon Forge: I think I’ll kill my whole family when they get back to the hotel. Yeah that’s what I’ll do.
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metaphor man retweeted
Welcome to the bunghole, we take it gay by gay
If you fuck it, it’s gonna bleed, but it’s the price you pay
Welcome to the Bunghole, it gets worse here everyday
You choose to live like an animal, in the bunghole we got AIDS
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If I have a to clutch another Fortnite match with a woman in it who died to a bot she’s getting locked into my fucking basement with the others
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What if it was called the jaws of wife and instead of fire rescue equipment it’s my dearly betrothed giving me a smooch on the lips before I go to work
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Yesterday in the scrapyard I found this old military telephone box thing. This morning I opened it and a bunch of live 100 year old bullets fell out. I understand that even possession of these is a strict liability criminal offence in the UK under S1 of the Firearms Act 1968.
I cannot get through to 101, and your live chat doesn’t work online. So how the hell do I surrender this ammunition to the police????? @metpoliceuk HELP PLEASE I DONT WANT TO GET RAIDED AGAIN??
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