me: hmm i want to make a meme video using blender to make fun of optical interconnects claude: are you sure about that

I genuinely don't know where I fit in the world. I mean socially. I know what value I can create, and how I can make money. I know what problems I can solve. But I honestly don't find most people interesting. I know these are typical problems for highly gifted and autistic people. So maybe I'm not out of distribution here. But I can count on one hand the number of people I would like to spend more time with. Maybe two hands. It just seems like there's something missing about enjoyment. I prefer to spend time with my dog, in nature. I see fun things and events that people do, and I like the idea of them. But in reality, mostly it just seems exhausting, underwhelming, and almost cliché. Like, I watch movies and it's like watching an alien species. "Do people actually do this? And enjoy it?" Like most of fiction, even if it's not fantasy, seems like a documentary of a different type of being. Like many people like me, I've spent most of my life masking. It was only three or four years ago that I started dropping the mask and every year it feels like the mask drops further away and I recognize my humanity less and less. Or, I recognize my previous way of life less and less. Unmasking is truly a one way street, too. Once you see how much you were pretending, trying to conform, trying to force enjoyment and connection where there was none, you cannot go back. A younger, more cynical version of myself might have fixated on Schopenhauer or something like that. But I don't find that kind of rumination and misanthropy satisfying. In the warm light of humanity, I just find myself sitting further and further away from the fire, gazing outwards. Sometimes I wish I wasn't this way. Sometimes I think I'd trade all my abilities to just be normal. To fit in. For the scripts that society hands me to make sense, and be satisfying, and to fit. Wish in one hand. When you first learn about unmasking, it's sometimes framed as "running a different operating system" but it seems more than that. It's a different paradigm altogether. At least for me. The motivations that most people have are bewildering to me. My motivations, likewise, are bewildering to many people (at least the very few who've bothered to ask). I'd like to spend more time with my own kind, but I don't know who my kind even are. Or if there are more than a handful of us. And, one problem I've noticed, is that many like me are just as wounded, or moreso, and haven't begun to unmask. I think we recognize each other. But in my age cohort, there's still a lot of faking it to make it. There's a lot of denial. I envy the younger generation for this. My niece messaged me a couple years ago like "I'm watching all this stuff on autism why does it make so much sense?" And I'm like there's a good reason for that. Then just a couple days ago she's like "wow I see how autistic my parents are now, but they don't know" and I'm like yeah it runs in families. Maybe our plight will simply evaporate with time. Maybe my generation is the last one to struggle with this level of profound ontological loneliness. I worry that it's too late for me. That I'm too far gone. Too different.

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青春没有售价

or put another way... they found 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 many CVEs in the Linux kernel