Sorry to my fans, but I’m now a chess content creator. This gambit lets you easily take the opponent's queen. Like, bookmark, and share before they nerf it.

Does the set of things we're not allowed to talk about contain itself?

Diamonds are out. Buying my wife a pfoa/pfos ring because our love is forever.

GDP is higher if we burn that old oak door for heat and buy a new door at Home Depot.

Are vegans allowed to use duck tape?

The Republic of Venice is CRIMINALLY overappreciated unless you wake up every morning cursing the 4th Crusade.

Some percentage believes that mass immigration is bad. Some percentage believes that calling it bad makes things worse. I wonder how it plays out over the next few decades.

I remember my wedding night. My new wife was so excited. It had been a lovely evening, but she had enjoyed some champagne, so there was no way she could give informed consent. I had to turn her down.

Tell me where in the LinkedIn terms of service it says I can't post that I'm officially cancer free every fiscal year.

I liked it when going viral let me ice out my wife. Now it's just extraordinary comments.

"I don't want my son to play tackle football! He might get brain damage!" Don't worry about it. He's not good enough to go pro in thinking.

A lot of America's problems stem from the fact that we don't have a penal colony.

Game of Thrones should have ended with the ascendent British or Spanish Empire rolling up to Westeros like this and shooting the dumb dragons with cannons.

When you're listening to a WH40k book and fail to suspend your disbelief at some of the military tactics and then remembered what you're reading.

"9/11. Never forget." "What about it shouldn't we forget?" "Oh, I don't know. Firefighters are brave, or something."

Tesla FSD (Supervised) gives me calm mornings. It has eliminated my CARBEM (Can a Red Bull every morning) and also eliminated my GSSS (gas station shit stop).

My son was once bothered that girls got to give birth to babies but boys didn't get "anything special." I pulled him away from his gloating sister and said, "Listen, you'll learn more about this when you're older, but your penis does an important thing. The Dad helps make babies." "Oh! How?" "I'll tell you more when you're older." He thought deeply for a second. "So before I have kids I need to learn how to use my penis to get the baby out..." "Uhh, no. You need to help put the baby in."

The problem with Americans is that they're not frugal enough. I feel like I'm the only person at the grocery store who peels the bananas before weighing them.